A bad rap

I'm thinking of starting a new career as a rap singer. The idea came to me this morning after I noticed that the clematis next to my front door had developed a bad case of wilt.

It's still pretty raw, of course, but the first version of my song goes something like this:


I don't know why you do me like you do
I prune you and pamper you and still you're untrue

I thought we were friends, now that's come to an end
'Cause you got the wilt and I'm tired of all the guilt

So, out you go -- forget about the dough
I'll get someone new who won't do what you do

Maybe Ipomoea, Cobaea or Lathyrus
Them ladies won't be making no fuss

Still, if they don't make the grade
You know I'll be getting out my spade


OK...

So, now I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't quit my day job just yet.